Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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