Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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