Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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