I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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