Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
