i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
