i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
