Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
