"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
