Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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