im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
