Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I lost the right to judge tonight
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize