PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
