i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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