i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
