all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
