Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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