Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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