All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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