it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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