I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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