wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
