she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
