So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
