So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
