i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
is that a dick in a sweater?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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