just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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