Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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