Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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