Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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