At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
