I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
