i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
P.S. I can't hear my feet
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
