I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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