very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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