no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
