Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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