WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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