Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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