Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
