Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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