On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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