He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Actions speak louder than pants.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
