Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
