weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
