i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize
