In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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