nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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