Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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