I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
