Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
