whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
