Do you still have your period?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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