Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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